Those Voices in Your Head
You've all heard them--
This hill is going to kick my butt.
If I can't win, I won't try.
I'll never get past this injury.
Some of these thoughts are ingrained pathways from childhood--as our brains were forming, we may have interpreted messages from the people and culture around us as criticism, negativity, anxiety, or futility. Research shows that you can intentionally shape your brain and your life by shaping the chorus that drives it. For me growing up on the elite runner fast track, some of these inner voices fueled me and some foiled me. It wasn't until I learned to reframe experience and get curious about my perceptions, that I realized I could manage my mind for more positive experiences and performances.
I was working with an athlete the other day who was struggling with said voices. I told him, "you know, some of these thoughts never go away. You are who you are, and to some extent you just learn how to manage that." We came up with an invisible dial he could turn on his shoulder to dial down the negative voices. It's helping him accept who he is, and feel more in control in any given situation.
Below is a chart I developed to help you transform fixed negative thoughts into positive possibility. I'd love to hear YOUR thoughts. What are some of the messages you hear, and how do you manage them?
Fixed Negative Phrases Positive Possibility Phrases
Desire
|
The only reason I compete is to win.
I'm doing this for others...to be admired...for material gain. |
I enjoy this.
I deserve this.
I want to see what I can do. |
Image
|
I should win.
It’s important how I look.
I don't take risks because I might look like a loser.
What will people think of me. | Will this help me improve?
Will this get me stronger where I need it?
I love and respect myself.
|
Setbacks
|
I suck. I’m an idiot, a failure.
(Or, when injured) I don’t know who I am if I’m not training/competing.
(Over-identifying as an athlete. When your self-worth is connected to performance). |
I’m not where I want to be YET.
No matter what, I can still work hard.
What am I missing?
What action(s) can I take to influence results? Who can help?
I am more than my sport. |
Challenges
|
I give up.
I can’t do this.
(Avoid challenges. Get defensive or give up easily). |
Bring it on.
Let me see what I’ve got today.
I take risks and learn.
Who can support me?
|
Effort
|
Why bother?
Nothing will change?
I can only push myself if people are there to make me.
I have to push ALL the time to prove myself.
| Progress requires effort.
If I want to improve I have to put in the work.
What do I have inside me to get through this?
My body is intelligent, and I listen to what it needs.
|
Criticism
|
Something must be wrong with me.
I don't deserve this.
People expect a lot from me, and I'm letting them down.
The coach doesn't know what their talking about.
(Tendency to ignore constructive criticism or take it personally).
|
How can I improve?
What am I missing?
Mistakes help me grow.
|
Success of Others
|
I'm a loser.
I don't deserve to be here.
I'll never reach my goals.
I'm letting people down.
(Feelings of being threatened by others’ performance). |
I’m inspired by my rivals.
We strive together.
(Find the lesson and inspiration in other people’s performance). |
Results
|
I quit. I’m walking away unfulfilled.
(Plateau early. Achieve less than full potential). |
Let’s see where this goes. I am open to what comes that I didn’t expect.
(Reach higher and higher levels of achievement. Able to transform no matter what). |
